Gimelstob dust up proves that “freedom of speech” is a figment of our imagination

I listened to the Justin Gimelstob in-studio interview with his friends, his “boys”, the Junkies last week.  I listened to him call Anna Kournikova a bitch, and talk about how he wouldn’t hit it but he wants his brother to hit it.  I listened to him make some lewd remarks about the appearance of some of the female tennis players on the tour.

But if you listen carefully, not only was he egged on by the other 4 guys on the show and the show’s producer, but it’s a show that is a highly rated program in the male demographic in the Washington DC area.  The show has taken over the morning spot since the departure of Howard Stern, and for the last 2 years they have been at or near the top in the key male demographic. 

So all of this begs to question, “what happened to being able to have fun, talk to your friends, and have fun enjoying this thing they called ‘freedom of speech’?”.

Dear Hank Steinbrenner,

You sir, are an asshat.  You talk and talk and talk…  as a baseball fan, I am embarrassed for the Yankees and their once proud franchise.  As a man who knows a thing or two about baseball, I am embarrassed for you if you actually think anyone gives a shit about what you have to say.

You’ve made statements like:

“Red Sox Nation? What a bunch of bullshit that is…That was a creation of the Red Sox and ESPN, which is filled with Red Sox fans…Go anywhere in America and you won’t see Red Sox hats and jackets, you’ll see Yankee hats and jackets. This is a Yankee country. We’re going to put the Yankees back on top and restore the universe to order.”

“Restore the universe to order”???  Big fucking deal about going anywhere in the country and you’ll see Yankees hats and jackets.  Last time I checked, having that dubious honor counted for exactly 0 World Series rings since 2000.

“I don’t want these teams in general to forget who subsidizes a lot of them, and it’s the Yankees, the Red Sox, Dodgers, Mets…I would prefer if teams want to target the Yankees that they at least start giving some of that revenue sharing and luxury tax money back. From an owner’s point of view, that’s my point.”

That’s fine you feel that way, but when you make comments like this that are said after spring training altercations, it just proves how bitter you really are.  If you really want to complain about luxury tax money, then fire Brian Cashman because Mike Mussina was re-signed, Andy Pettitte is earning a ridiculous salary, and he also acquired and re-signed Alex Rodriguez.  Noone forced you guys to pay these washouts (except ARod) $10+ million per year, or to not develop your farm system so you could fill spots with young players rather than running Randy Johnson, Gary Sheffield, Bobby Abreu or Mussina out there night in and night out.  Alex Rodriguez at one point was making more salary than the entire Florida Marlins roster.

Little did KG know…

there was a baby eater lurking behind him.  Add KG to the list of satisfied customers.

(Editor’s note: the caption for this photo on nba.com reads “KG breaks free for two of his 16 points Monday.”  Well, we all know what happened.  Not only did Jason Maxiell ruin KG’s night, and Memorial Day Holiday but by the look on Jarvis Hayes’ face, he scared the shit out his teammates).

Since the NBA and their photo posting staff got their caption wrong, let’s help them out with a new one.  I don’t have really any prizes, actually… the best caption wins an autographed Albert Belle baseball.  All expenses paid, I will ship it to you!

“I’m kind of fed up with the excuses”

“How do you like THEM apples?”

In a league where “stuperstars” take center stage in the media and politely point the finger at their “supporting cast”, Antonio McDyess has taken the reigns from Chauncey Billups and made this team his after last night’s stunning (almost turn-back-the-clockish) 26 21 (thanks LB, it was kind of douchey how you told me) point/16 rebound performance against the Boston Celtics.  I had to hit the DVR a couple of times to make sure I wasn’t watching a highlight of the 2000-2001 Denver Nuggets after I continued to hear McDyess’ name come through on the telecast…

In the postgame press conference McDyess said what every Piston fan felt needed to be said, and that is (in short) “I’m kind of fed up with the excuses”.  The commenters at Detroit Bad Boys and Natalie at Need4Sheed (not so much the commenters there because, well I love Natalie and all, but half of the commenters think SHE is Rasheed Wallace) all believe that this team is likely better off with McDyess as the mouth of the team.  He’s soft spoken, he doesn’t pound his chest, he doesn’t pout when he’s not getting the rock, and he holds himself and his teammates accountable for poor play.  This is a guy who has been a 20 point, 10 rebound guy in the league.  This is a guy who had missed at one point 199 games because of 2 knee surgeries.  This is a guy who could jump out of the gym after he came into the league from Alabama.

Boney moving day - Realization #1 I have problems spending money…

Most of you assbags don’t know that I’m moving, but now you do.  This has become a yearly ritual for me, since I have refused to purchase property in my area, I rent.  I’ve moved from city to city, but this time I am staying in the same community.

The last time I moved, I kind of packed in a hurry and I didn’t really pay attention to what I was packing.  This time it’s different though, since I’m moving so close I’ve taken my time and have actually gone through my stuff to see what I have and how I can pack it so nothing gets damaged.  The following is what I’ve found while packing:

What a fantastic start to my Memorial Day weekend!

The following is not written by Chris Sheridan, nor is written by any contributors to ESPN or ESPN.com.

When I was asked to contribute my thoughts on Saturday night’s Pistons v. Celtics’ game, I was a little apprehensive.  I don’t want to come off sounding negative all of the time about the Pistons, because that would lead some to believe that I’m not objective as a sportswriter.  I am objective, I mean, who likes the Pistons?  If I could, I’d spell it “Pissed-ons” just like every other asshat on the ESPN message boards just because I think it’s a witty way of spelling Pistons, and when you say it fast enough it actually sounds like “Pistons”.

After I finished my Daily Dime piece for Game 2, I stumbled across one of these stupid fan-site blogs where they were celebrating the fact that perennial malcontent Rasheed Wallace was disrespecting the Boston Celtics, their fans and the 16 banners by playing “air guitar” and singing “Guns ‘n Roses”.  Now, I don’t know who these Axl Roses are, or what the ”air guitar” is, but whatever it is, it is not as good as throwing some Tiny Tim 45s on the turntable and listening to him strum the ukulele while singing “Somewhere over the rainbow”.

“We didn’t steal it, we took it” - Pistons take Game 2

You know, I get tired of all the side stepping professional athletes do around questions from reporters these days.  “How does it feel to steal one in Boston?”, “How does it feel to beat the Big 3?”, “How does it feel when you see me reaching in KG’s shorts prior to the game only to reach in your shorts now?”… and so on and so on and so on.

Just once I want a team to say “We didn’t steal it, we took it”.  For all the “cockiness” that the Detroit Pistons have displayed over the past 5 seasons, we have never heard someone say “we didn’t steal that road win, we took it from them”.  There’s always the “well you know, this team is a tough team and we love it when our backs are against the wall” or the “you know, we enjoy being on the big stage and playing in these big games”.  Enough is enough.  Detroit went into Boston last night and took it to the Celtics, in their own gym.

You don’t just waltz into a “hostile” environment like Boston and have one handed to you, they don’t just set the game up on the table for you to steal, you have to take that shit… and that’s what the Pistons did.

“I hate the Detroit Pistons”

“I don’t like the full court press, half court trapping, scores in the 80s, or women.  I enjoy teams that wear purple, throw 15 alley oops a game, that score in the 130s, and Sam Adams Summer Blend”

You know, I don’t often criticize sportswriters because for a long time I wanted to be one.  It took me until high school to realize that I didn’t care enough about proper grammar, sentence structure or the use of acceptable language to understand that perhaps writing wasn’t going to be my forte.  With that being said, I do understand the basics of reporting, editorializing, and flat out being a douche.  Chris Sheridan is a fucking douchebag, and I’d say it to his face if he took offense to it.  Oh he’s not a douche you’re saying to yourself?  Then you must be a fan of the Celtics, Lakers, Suns, Cavaliers, Magic or some other team that hasn’t won shit recently that has a “stuperstar” on it’s roster.

The man does not like the Detroit Pistons, at all.  He makes no qualms about it either.  There are times where I log on here to wordpress and I begin to write about things, and then I stop because I lose motivation after about 10 minutes of gibberish.  I would bet a year’s salary that Chris Sheridan logs on to his Hello Kitty laptop and begins to do what I do as well, only he writes negatively about the Pistons.  Then after about 10 minutes or so he looks up and he says “you know, I can’t think of anymore bad things to write about them right now, so I’ll write about how I want to give Kevin Garnett a reacharound while he’s in the shower after the game” and then he logs onto perkisabeast.com his blog under some random alias and goes to town.

Good vs. Evil… Bad vs. Good… Media Darlings vs. The Team noone wants to see…

“I am the reason this team on the front of my shirt won’t win!”        

It’s come down to what everyone thought…  the “Big 3″ vs. “Team Basketball”…  Goliath vs. David…”Kevin McHale and Danny Ainge” vs. “Joe Dumars”.  A re-match of the 1985 Eastern Conference Semis, 1987 Eastern Conference Finals, 1988 Eastern Conference Finals, 1989 Eastern Conference 1st Round, 1991 Eastern Conference Semis…  Growing up, I hated the Chicago Bulls.  I was 9 years old when Detroit won their first title, and they took out the Bulls to get to the Lakers.  I was 10 years old when they did it again the following year in the Conference Finals.  To me, that’s more of a “rivalry” because it’s what I remember distinctly.

I do remember Detroit having to get past Boston though, even though I don’t remember the games.  I don’t remember “there’s a steal by Bird… he passes it to DJ…”, I was a youngbuck then.  I remember Detroit having to take down the Celtics “dynasty” in order to make their own path to greatness.  I remember Bird and McHale and how I used to hate watching games at the “Gaaaahden” because everyone knew there were dead spots on the floor yet the league never did anything about it.  I didn’t like how McHale and Bird resorted to cheapshots against Laimbeer, when clearly both of them should have been able to dominate Laimbeer on the post and in the paint.  I remember Bird being a bitch and after being taken down on a hard foul by Laimbeer, he threw sucker punches and shoved…. then when he was seperated from Laimbeer, he got the ball and threw it at Laimbeer then Rodman came in and threw a headlock on his punkass.

Game 1 re-cap - WTF?

At this point, I’ll take one of these guys over Flip Saunders.  I guarantee they’ll give Amir some run.

Philadelphia 90 - @ Detroit 86

One word fits this game, and how it feels to be a Piston fan right now: Embarrassing.  Outplayed in the 2nd half of this Game 1, and outplayed in the last 7 playoff games.  Perhaps I was too overconfident in this team’s abilities when I wrote my Eastern Conference playoff predictions.  Perhaps I was too overconfident in Flip Saunders’ ability to use the bench in the playoffs, like he had done so well during the regular season.